well...today wanna share one story with you all...
its about 3 months back...we had just moved to this new place..and there was lot of unpacking to do...assad left for office in morning and i decided not to go back to sleep. Before celmira wakes up i should finish most of the work..i took advantage of some peace and quiet and decided to have my morning tea sitting in my balcony. i remember hearing the door shut behind me...but then nothing of it until 15 minutes later when i decide to head back into the house and the door is not just shut but it was locked!..i kept shaking the door to see if it was just very tight but it was locked.....Shit Shit Shit...what to do???....celmira was all alone sleeping inside the bedroom..i didn't have my cell phone with me too...now i was sweating ..fear of getting locked outside with a soaring temperature of 35 degrees...i was also worried if celmira would wake and not see me around and she would try and come out of her cot....i could see no one on the road down my balcony...it was almost 15 minutes now i was locked out..then i saw a african man down...i waved him...and he came running down my balcony ...but he was not able to understand english...and there i am standing locked in my balcony...making all type of actions to make him understand that i was locked and you please call my husband who had just left for work....finally he left to call assad...and le...for more 15 minutes i am waiting for him to come back and tell me if he spoke to assad...but i could se him no more...i was feeling hopeless...now i was in tears...then i saw 2 indian men walking down...i conveyed them my misery and they finally called assad and told him the story..there i saw this african guy comming bcak..he told me that he too spoke to my husband and he is on the way...ok!!!...i was relieved that assad would come and get me out of here...o shit then it struck how will he come inside the house..i have locked the door from inside...that means assad will have to break the door..damn...that means more 1 or 2 hrs...what if celmira wakes up before that!!!...i was crying and crying....then i saw assad down my balcony ..he was too worried about celmira...then we decide that he should call up some lock and key wala...who would break the lock and then he would enter my house and get me out of here...so he called up that guy who said it will take him 1 hr to come ...we had no option...we had to just wait and wait...everything was silient ..i was trying to hear if celmira had woke up...was she crying...but nothing...then suddenly i saw this stranger face suddenly opening my balcony door with celmira in his arms....oooh....who was he?,....how did he manage?...yipppie...i was rescued....i came inside the house and was hugging celmira tightly and crying....that stranger was one of the cleaners in my building who had managed to enter through my kitchen window which was luckily opened...he was an angel sent by god....finally i was inside my house and celmira was fine...wenever i remember this incidence..it gives me a goose bumps...yet we dont how did the door got damn locked...still wenever i go in my balcony i never pull the door behind me....

First few words...

Celmira is now 18 months old...me and assad have listed her first few words in all these months....
daddy
mamma
two
three...ofcourse without saying one: )
boo ( book)
tyre
bappa (backpack)
dawa (medicine)
dauwraa (dora the cartton character)
pa( pani)
yes
no
come
tata
bye
hi
allah
shoe
hish (fish)
chuchu (susu)
baby
coco (chochlate)
babbu (bubbles)
yummmy
here
there
eyesh (eyes)
dada
dadi
nana
nani
chochu (chachu)
bhauu (dog)
meow (cat)
cow
bollly (ball)
e( alphabet E )
do (give)
lo (take)
khao (eat)
aaja (come)
......and like any cute toddler she answeres to few questions..here's it...
what is your name?
memmmi (celmi)
what does santaclaus do?
hooooo hoooo hoooo
what does johny do?
hooo hooo hoooo
where is light?
there...(showing her fingers up )
where is celmira?
here (showing herself)

she surprises us by learning new words everyday...

This is probably the most honest note I have ever posted on my Blog...This is one of those things that one writes in your private diary and wants nobody to read them...But I had this urge to blog about it...coz I had hidden it from myself for so long that I wanted to unhide it now not just from myself but everyone...Time has cleared my head about a lot of things, about myself....not the dark side of me..but Me....I am selfish-very selfish!.... I take more than I give... I am not Money Minded... I am a dependent person......... I am demanding in a relationship!... I end up controlling others lives.... I am rude and mean and hurt others to seek revenge!...I am short-tempered and hurt others with my words!....This is Me.... Sorry..... Not sorry for being me....but for how me would have hurt those who are with me...but there is someone who loves me inspite of all these...he does and I believe him....I wanted to be his wife and ended up being his best friend....Its nice to finally see things clearly...and this is not a self-pity post...just my first attempt to be honest to myself...no no this is not the effect of sach ka samna!!!..I dont intend to change myself after this coz I am not sure if I can and want to change any of it.....this is Me...take it or leave it....

You know those dreams you have when you are in school?... you know those ones... the one where you are naked in front of class or its exam day and you forgot to study for it or its late at night and you are alone in a dark school ....my classic school nightmares were usually about an exam and not knowing where the exam room was or forgetting to study....All those nightmares are classic stress, dislike and sheer boredom and annoyance with school....but i dont get such kind of dreams anymore...is it the signs of a well balanced life.....!!!

Really sorry for not staying in touch for past few months... Life has been maniac between shifting my house here in dubai... And then travelling to mumbai for two weeks....well time just flew wen i was in mumbai...right from may i was waiting for our gateaway to hometown mumbai... But the best part was 4 days vacation to shimla.....knew it was going to be great! We flew from mumbai to chandigarh with kingfisher airlines... Chandigarh airport is a small airport... Our friend kapil was waiting for us...it was 4 hrs drive from chandigarh to shimla... By the time v reached shimla... It was 9:30 pm... V were dead tired... And v got a shock that the lift which takes people from the stop to the shimla city was closed... Uhhhh v had to climb that steep mountain with our luggages and ourselves... Tht climb was steep 8 storey climb....but wen we reached kapils house, it was worth it! Unlike tourists we were staying at our friends house which was a 100 yr old hpuse with a scenic view from windows... Next morning wen v woke up...shimla town is utter chaos with people, shops everywhr... It ws a relaxed holiday,Since we were staying in friends house with homemade local cusine...next few days we went to naladhera and kufri which had beautiful cedar forests, peaks and valleys..... The best part was u will not find any fans and a/c in himachal... U get to breathe fresh, non polluted air...This was an amazing vaccation,,, now back to reality!!!

With celi we always use our mother tongue urdu/hindi at home.....and she understands both languages english aswell as hindi and knows common words in both languages... But from few days I had begun to wonder if speaking 2 languages is confusing her speech development in any way!.... At the same time I didn't want to change our habit of conversing with her in our languauge..because if we stop speaking then there is no way she can learn the language.... I truly believe in the theory that, the younger the kids, the faster they learn new languages....I somehow don't like it when people say that they switched to speaking english at home after the kids started going to school here abroad, because the kids get confused with learning two languages.... And then when the kids grow a little older, they send them to weekend classes to learn mother tongue!! When we parents don't speak that language with them, how can we expect the kids to learn the language through some outsider is what I don't get!!!????

Life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans!