when will we go for long needed break..i want an anti-social break! i need to sit around with friends but not have to talk. i need to be around people, but not have to interact.

i hate being pushed into a corner. i hate having to accept the inevitable. when i feel pressured into doing something that i dont want... but i know that this something i have to do... i will do it.... but it creates no end of inner turmoil in me.

pulled and pushed in different directions, convincing myself that the direction im being pushed into is for the best, i feel like im losing my hold onto what i really want.

i am discovering how liberal i really am. scary. i dont know how to strike a balance anymore.

the only way to cope is to become indifferent. but the situation calls for extreme involvement. phases of trying to be involved and not letting it get to me..... oscillation between extremes. driving me insane

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

who is putting this pressure on me?

i feel the need to yell STOP. just pause in what im doing... flip a page, find a rift in reality and walk out of this situation.

ufff the dramatics.